8 Chastity Keyholder Tips: How To Hold His Chastity Key

Looking for chastity keyholder tips when it comes to holding your partner's chastity key?

Being a keyholder is one of the great things about leading a female led relationship (FLR). It's really about the power exchange: controlling access to your man's manhood!

It's a big thrill because you'll feel so powerful having your man completely at your mercy.

But like Uncle Ben from Spiderman says, "with great power comes great responsibility!"

Holding a chastity key isn't just all fun and games (although a good portion of it is). It is a big responsibility someone has entrusted you with, so you need to be prepared for the job.

So this blog post will cover some tips for being a great keyholder.

What is a keyholder?

So...what is a keyholder?

Well, if you're completely new to male chastity, a keyholder is simply the person who holds the chastity wearer's chastity key.

This is usually someone the wearer trusts completely and wishes to be dominated by.

In a FLR, the chastity wearer is usually the husband and the keyholder is the wife/girlfriend.

Chastity devices typically come with multiple keys (i.e. one for use and one for safekeeping as a backup). The keyholder holds the keys so the chastity wearer won't be tempted to unlock the cage himself.

Sure, self chastity can work and is a lot of fun if you don't have a keyholder. However, finding an ideal keyholder you can trust completely is an ideal scenario.

1. Understand what the goal is

Before you start your chastity journey you should discuss what your goals are with your partner.

One thing to set is the lockup period.

How long is he going to be locked up? Is it a day? Is it a week? Maybe it is a month or longer?

Sure, a chastity lockup period can be a "fluid date" depending on good behavior and all, but having an idea of the lockup period is important.

Doing so helps set expectations between both partners.

Another thing to do is what to expect from chastity. Will you be teasing and denying him?

Are you strictly doing online sessions by locking him in chastity?

Remember, communication is key so communicate and talk before you hand over any keys at all.

While not a requirement, I would recommend creating a chastity contract.

Now, this usually isn't a legally binding contract, but I find that it is a fun exercise and will create hours of fun for you and your partner.

It is basically a contract that goes over the terms of locking up your partner.

It'll cover things like:

  • The rules and expectations of both partners
  • How long he will be locked in chastity for
  • Punishments if necessary
  • ...and so much more!

If you're looking for a basic chastity contract between you and your partner, check out this one from My Femdom Rules.

2. Make sure he knows the rules

When it comes to chastity, you are in charge! After all, you control the key to the cage locking his cock and balls!

As a result, one thing should be very clear: he needs to follow your rules!

Again, that's why I think having a chastity contract is important as it fleshes a lot of these details out.

Even if you don't create a chastity contract, one thing you may want to consider is typing your rules on a piece of paper and putting it on his desk so he can familiarize himself with it!

Anyways, if you have rules about when he can jerk, when he can watch porn, etc., then he should know them by heart.

In fact, one fun game to play is to make him recite the chastity rules word for word on your command!

Also, obviously any time he doesn't obey the rules you will punish him.

Some rules you may want to consider, include:

  • Situation when he will be unlocked from the cage (i.e. shaving/cleaning or emergencies)
  • How your chastity slave is to address you (i.e. as Mistress, Queen, etc.)
  • His duties (such as chores, responsibilities, etc.)

3. Punish him if necessary

It is inevitable...

When you have a man locked in chastity he will eventually make a mistake and really piss you off sooner or later.

Maybe he asked you to be unlocked one too many times.

Or maybe he left the toilet seat up.

Maybe he forgot to take out the garbage.

Whatever it is, you should have a list of punishments ready to dole out whenever he fucks up.

This can also be structured into your chastity contract.

When he knows he will be punished, he will be more likely to behave!

Here are some really fun punishments to give your slave:

  • Spank his ass with a wooden paddle 10 times
  • Add extra days to chastity
  • Have him vacuum or mop the floors
  • Make him wear a butt plug during the day
  • Peg him

Punishing your chastity slave is just part of the fun of locking up him! So be prepared to do it :)

4. Can you unlock me?

"Can you please unlock me?"

"Please unlock me?"

"Please, I'll do anything!"

If you lock a man in chastity, you'll likely hear a variation of one of the above phrases.

Obviously that can be ANNOYING after a while. So if he is annoying you like that, let him know and punish him.

But when it comes to enforcing chastity you need to be firm but understandable.

In some situations he may be nagging you incessantly to be unlocked. Obviously in those circumstances, you should ignore him.

In other situations, he may have a valid reason to be unlocked.

For example, if he needs to be unlocked to play chastity to play sports or go through airport security.

Further, if there are any health concerns at all, it is better to be safe than sorry when it comes to chastity.

If there is a lot of chaffing or pinching in the cage, then order your slave to take the cage off so you can inspect it.

If there is a concern about cutting off circulation to the balls because the base ring is too tight, then get a larger size.

Chastity should be fun and safe above all else. So as the keyholder, you need to evaluate these situations on a case-by-case basis.

8 Chastity Keyholder Tips: How To Hold His Chastity Key

5. Tease and deny him

The best way to enjoy chastity with your partner is to tease and deny him!

After all, chastity is all about the power exchange!

There are a lot of things you can do to tease, deny, and torment your partner.

For example, you can talk dirty to him. Let him know how much keeping him in the cage turns you on. Let him know how much you love it when he strains against the cage.

Another thing you can do is tease his cage. Rub his balls around. Make him eat your pussy. Really get his cock nice and hard and straining against the cage!

Do anything and everything you want to get him hard and leaking in the cage.

One of the best things about chastity is the vast amount of games and scenarios you can try to spice up your relationship.

P.S. if you're looking for a list of super fun chastity games to try with your partner, I'd recommend check out the Chastity Games book!

Chastity Games Book for keyholders

6. Take advantage of his horniness

I already talked a little bit about teasing and denying your chastity slave, but I want to take things to another level!

More specifically, I want you to take advantage of his horniness.

Men absolutely LOVE it when women take advantage of them (especially dominating them sexually).

In fact, the meaner you are to a man, the more addicted he becomes!

So take advantage of him!

What do I mean by this?

Well, make him drive 2 hours away to pick up something from your favorite bakery.

Make him do the chores around the house for "a chance" to be let out of the cage.

Have him eat you out for hours on end because you "might" let him out.

You know, do little things to really mind fuck him.

Trust me, it's going to be so much fun!

7. Wear his key in plain sight

One fun way to tease and torment your chastity slave is to keep his key in plain sight.

It will be a constant reminder that you own him and that he will never escape the cage without your blessing.

So, how do you do this?

Well, one way is to wear your chastity key somewhere. For example, you can wear it as a necklace.

You can also put it around your ankle (if he has a foot fetish) or your wrist, or even on a belly button piercing!

This way if you go out in public and someone asks about the key you can humiliate your slave by telling them what is its!

You can also use the key to really tease him by flaunting it in his face.

Talk dirty by things like:

"Don't you wish I would give you the key?"

"What are you going to do to earn your key today?"

"It would be a shame if I accidentally dropped your key in the sewer, wouldn't it?"

8. Take necessary breaks

Another thing that is really important when it comes to being a keyholder is taking breaks.

Not enough people talk about this, but your life shouldn't be kink 100% of the time.

That will just cause you to burn out really quick.

While kink is fun, it shouldn't overtake your life.

So if you need to, take some time away from chastity play.

After all, it can get a little boring or tiring controlling someone 24/7, especially if he is being annoying and asking to be unlocked constantly!

Taking a break is totally healthy too because it'll make you "miss it" - which means when you return to chastity, it'll be all new and fun!

Chastity Keyholder Tips - Final Thoughts

Overall, being a keyholder is a big responsibility. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun!

Part of the fun of being a keyholder is all the responsibilities that come with absolutely controlling your partner.

Hopefully you found these chastity keyholder tips helpful! Chastity is a great thing to introduce to your marriage and it's something I hope every couple experiences at least once :)

P.S. Did you think I missed anything from the list?

Let me know in the comments!

1 comment

  • Being locked in chastity is the most turn on I have ever experienced. I thought it would be for ine day but she kept me in it all week and I was so horny there was nothing I would not agree to be allowed to get off.
    I am now divorced and live alone but I do have a cage and would send you the keys

    Don Droesch

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