Long Distance Chastity: How To Do Long Distance Femdom In Your Relationship

Just like long distance relationships, long distance chastity has its pros and cons.

When you don't have a keyholder in person, you have two choices:

  1. Self chastity or
  2. Long distance chastity

Sometimes it’s not always possible to have an in-person (real life) keyholder- sub relationship.

Maybe you have a long distance relationship with your partner or maybe you have a long distance relationship with an online mistress.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a great chastity experience.

In fact, there are A LOT of great things about long distance chastity.

This blog post will cover:

  • The pros and cons of long distance chastity
  • How to incorporate "long distance femdom" into your relationship
  • Chastity games and ideas you can play with an online chastity mistress

Pros of long distance chastity:

1. Can't find a local keyholder

If you aren't in a relationship or can't find a keyholder, long distance chastity with an online mistress is a great alternative to experience the joys of chastity.

Or maybe you are in a long distance relationship already and want to experience chastity with your partner.

Long distance chastity is absolutely different than "in-person" chastity, but it still allows you to experience the joys of submission, frustration, and desperation!

2. It's better than self chastity

Most of the time when subs don't have keyholders, they turn to self chastity.

Now, self chastity is great! Don't get me wrong...

But self chastity is definitely more of a mental game than having a keyholder.

Again, there's a difference between self chastity and long distance chastity. But in my opinion, long distance chastity is more fun!

3. Control many men at once

Finally, if you are a woman, long distance chastity is great because it allows you to control MANY men across the world.

In fact, it's the most effective way for you to lock up men's dicks.

And it's just plain fun too...

Cons of long distance chastity:

1. Lack of supervision

Long distance chastity can be kind of like working remotely. If you work remotely...you know what I mean!

There are times where lack of supervision may lead to lack of effort (basically jerking around - pun intended)!

When you aren't there to administer chastity in person, your sub can jerk off or watch porn without your permission! He may even *gasp* cum in the cage without your permission.

As a result, even if you control the key, he may still be able to skirt around the chastity cage!

And when you are not around, he will probably try to escape from the cage. For example, in the shower, he may try to lather up his balls with soap and try to slip out!

Chastity makes a man desperate and desperate men to desperate things!

2. Lack of physical connection

The other problem with long distance chastity is there's a lack of physical contact and connection between Mistress and sub.

One of the great joys of the keyholder/slave relationship is being able to tease your partner.

Looking into their eyes as you say no and rub their big blue balls. As you edge them over and over again until they are a leaking mess on the floor.

With long distance chastity, you can do skype sessions etc., but it's still not the same...

Tips for Long Distance Femdom In Your Relationship

As I mentioned before, long distance chastity is quite different than "in-person" chastity because of the physical distance between the two of you.

This may create some challenges for some people!

Here are 3 things you should keep in mind when engaging in long-term chastity

1. He must show you putting on the cage

When you are doing chastity in person, you can lock up your sub yourself. Or you can have him do it in front of you under your supervision.

But obviously when it comes to long distance chastity, that isn't possible! So...how do you solve this?

You should have your sub lock his dick in chastity on Skype for you. That way you can be sure 100% that he is locked up for you.

After that, he should mail out the keys to you (with tracking).

When it comes to long distance chastity, remember this very important rule: trust but verify!

Verify with pictures, videos, etc. that he is locked up for you.

Everything must be verified or he will be punished!

2. Mail the keys separately

Most chastity key sets come with 2 keys for every lock.

When mailing chastity keys always be sure to mail them one at a time.


You never know when the postal carrier may accidentally mis-ship something or maybe a porch pirate will steal your package.

As a result, always ship one key at a time for safety reasons.

This way you always have a backup. Is it a little more expensive this way?

Yes, but at least you know that your keys will be safe!

3. Chastity spot checks

A chastity spot check is a great way to ensure that your sub is still locked in chastity.

What is a chastity spot check?

It’s basically a request (well….more like a command) that your sub send a picture or video as proof that he is still locked in chastity for you.

You can issue one of these chastity spot checks as often as you want to really keep him on his toes! It will be a constant reminder that you own him completely and he must obey you.

When it comes to long distance chastity, a spot check is a great game to tease your sub with :)

Long Distance Chastity How To Control Your Sub Online

Long Distance Chastity Task Ideas

So...are you looking for some naughty ideas to tease and torment your sub while you have him locked long distance?

Well, don't worry, I'm going to share some really fun ideas that you can try in your long distance relationship!

1. Tease him with the key

One of the best ways to tease your long distance slave is to play around with the keys. Send him some pictures/videos of the key to really tease him!

Think of it like "sexting" with your sub.

So...what can you do?

Well, you can show him pictures of the key hanging off your neck. Seeing the key dangle between your cleavage will get him super horny for sure!

If your sub is into feet, you can place the key between your soles or have the key on a chain around your ankle.

2. Flush them down the toilet

Another funny thing you can do with your slave is to show him a video of you flushing one of his keys down the toilet!

Now, I don't recommend flushing the real key down the toilet.

What I really mean to say is to flush a random key that looks like his chastity key down the toilet. This makes it look like you are doing it (now, obviously you don't tell him that haha).

That will really get his attention and he will automatically know that if he doesn't behave properly, you may flush the second one down the toilet as well!

3. Perform chastity spot tasks for you

One thing that should be done to tease your long distance chastity slave is constant chastity spot checks.

Try to do it at inopportune times as well (like when your slave is out with his friends, over at is parent's house, etc.)

And make it a little difficult as well...

For example: make him go to the grocery store and buy a banana or cucumber so he can compare it to his locked up dick (with picture/video proof of course).

You get the idea...

A chastity spot check like this will keep your long distance sub on his toes all the time!

4. Daily pictures/vids to show proof

In addition to the above games that I discussed, your sub should also show daily proof that he is indeed locked in chastity.

Every day at 7:00 AM, he must send a picture or video to show that he is locked in chastity. And he must include a piece of paper that includes the date and a special codeword that you tell him the prior night.

Why use a special codeword?

Well, that ensures he won't just be recording photos/videos ahead of time and try to escape the cage!

Remote locks? Why not use them?

The last thing I want to discuss with long distance chastity is remote locks and remote/electronic chastity cages (like the Cellmate chastity cage).

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of electronic chastity cages or keys.


Well, because technology can always have issues no matter how good the software (or hardware) is.

You never want to be in a situation where you have the lock stop working and you can't unlock yourself from the cage!

Permanent chastity sounds cool and erotic, but in practice, it's a lot different!

In fact, not so long ago, there was an article that said the Cellmate cage had a serious security flaw where hackers could theoretically access the cage. That issue has since been fixed, but with technology...you never know!

Long Distance Chastity & Femdom - Final Thoughts

Overall, long distance chastity can be a great thing to experience if you are tired of self chastity.

And if you are in a LDR, long distance femdom like this is a great way to keep the spark alive. 

Hopefully you found this guide helpful and are ready to experience the absolute thrill of chastity.

It's truly something that all betas and submissives should get to experience.

So...think I missed anything when it comes to long distance chastity? Let me know in the comments!


  • My Mistress and I live 50+ miles apart. She has me wearing my chastity cage when I’m visiting for my sessions with her. Otherwise she doesn’t require me wear it when I’m not with her. I do but, because of some of my active’s I can’t wear it as much as I like.

    Joe Sommer
  • was hot. About 3 years ago I made a sexy belt for my hot-Goddess out of sterling silver necklace links. Super sexy as the belt would rest loosely over her hip bones. Then I added a 3 or 4 inch piece of chain loop on each end on where it would slip over the belt and slide easily. The other end had my cage key. When she would Reverse Cowgirl with her Stud in front of me. The key would bounce around her clit! She loved it and it would make me soooo nuts!

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